So, I'm fairy convinced that no one reads this stuff, but you know what, that's okay. I'm writing this for me. Tonight's topic: body image. I've been stick thin. I've been overweight for my height. (I have a really really small frame). Last but not least, I've been the girl interrupted. Interrupted by my parents and their ridiculous rules. I got in trouble for pretty much any and everything under the sun. Including one of my favorite vices, eyeliner. Individuality was forbidden. So, I spent a lot of time conforming and conforming to the point where I had no idea how to even be my own person. And then....everything changed. My dad left for his his home country and I had five uninterrupted years of freedom. My mom was easy enough to thwart. The worst she could ever do to me was yell and even then, she finally understood that I am an American girl and that I was going to do things my way.
Cut to five years later. Do I really think I am doing things my way or that I'm my own person? No. Not really. I find myself trying to conform myself to the mold of wifey. Or future mother. I'm not wifey material. I'm still not done being young and stupid. Quite frankly, I think I'm okay with it. I wish I could take care of NB like he deserves. I wish I could cook nice home-cooked meals for him. I wish I was good at ironing his shirts. But then the feminist in me goes....don't you dare conform. The nurturer in me goes....cook, clean...take care of your man.
What am I supposed to do?
Skinny girl....
Until next time....xoxo
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